Day 73 – My hoarding problem

How to break a psychological stranglehold?

It’s cards on the table time readers. I’ve addressed my inability to process things before, and stated my intention to start by systematically going through boxes from years back to get shot of the majority of the contents.

Never happened. Didn’t have the time. Too much to do. Whatever other excuse you want to add. I will give myself a smidgen of credit here in that I did actually start using my filing cabinet last week and have got into the habit of filing away paperwork. From acorns do oaks grow. It’s a move in the right direction. Incremental, sure, but an inch of a mile.

AI image generation spoilt me for choice on this one. All were tidier than my reality, but you get the idea.

I decided a few days ago I was going to rearrange my home office. It’s a smallish second bedroom that used to have space for a bed. However, I got married over three years ago to a non-British national, and in November 2022, she was able to come to this country and settle on a permanent basis. My previous relationships had always involved me not sleeping and eating in the same place as I worked.

My current apartment had become a large two bedroomed workspace. A load of stuff was transported here when I moved in during 2006, and it’s increased since. Detritus, much of it in boxes, not always with lids, was spread all over and there no imperative to reduce it even though much of it was unprocessed paperwork I didn’t either organise or eliminate at the time. If I needed to do a bit of a tidy, it just went into boxes.

So the number of boxes grew. The fact that much of the stuff was in the boxes seemed to alleviate the issue, in my warped imagination. I knew it was an eyesore, I knew it was getting out of control, but visitors were fairly rare, except my then young son who had the second bedroom whenever he stayed over, or one of my exes who would come over sometimes, when her kids were staying with their dad. My ex made plenty of comments about it, but when she started sorting my stuff out for me and deciding what clothes I shouldn’t keep, I protested sufficiently for her to stop.

A couple of different people did try and help me. One wanted to become a professional organiser and was willing to work with me for a testimonial. That didn’t last because she found a paid job and my heart wasn’t in it. The mum of one of my son’s schoolfriends was also willing to help. It helped that I had a soft spot for her, but she was quite scatty generally and after about three visits, it just tapered out.

The big change came when the wife moved in. Ultimately, she has more or less eliminated everything but my clothes and some books from the large bedroom and living room. The kitchen has seen some stuff dispensed with but ultimately a lot of new stuff coming in. How many pots does anyone need? It’s organised though. I can never find anything, but it is organised all the same. The bathroom is the bathroom. We picked up a free shelved wardrobe unit on Facebook Marketplace and most things are in there.

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